Along with this, you will want to let your foster child know that your house is a safe one, and that he will not come to harm in your home. Not only do you want to let your foster child know this when he joins your family, it is just as important to remind him of this as often as possible. Treat him like a member of your family. You want to show your foster child that you value him as a person, and that he is important. What he says, what he thinks, what he believes; your foster child needs to realize that all of these are important. For some children, this might be a new experience, as they have never been shown value before.
Trust can also be built by showing your foster child that you care for him. Building a trusting relationship means showing your foster child that you are concerned for his well being, physically, emotionally, and mentally. Showing compassion for your foster child is an important part of building a healthy relationship, as he needs to know and feel that you care for him. After all, close relationships between children and adults is a central part of avoiding further risky behavior.
You may find that your foster child will try to test your trust, your love, and your dedication to him. He may lash out verbally, throw temper tantrums or throw items in frustration, may lie to you. On the other hand, he might also withdraw, refuse to talk, or not engage in the family in a positive way. After the so called “Honeymoon” period has elapsed, he may try determine how far you trust him, and how much a part of your family he is. When this happens, remain consistent in our values, your rules, and your consequences. Indeed, this also helps to build trust, as he will see that you will not waver in your rules and consequences, as well as your love for him.
Trust does take time, and for some foster children, it may take a very long period of time. Remember, you are planting seeds, here, that you may never see come to fruition.
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